Love and Hate

I have a love/hate relationship with this whole motherhood thing. There are many things I miss about being child-free. Then I think about the silly little things that my children do and it puts a big smile on my face. So here are a few of my loves and misses (since I don't really like the word hate).

LOVE:

• Hugs and kisses
• Being looked at like I am the most beautiful, important person in the world
• First comment from daughter after having her baby brother, "Wow Mommy, you're really skinny."
• Reliving the excitement of life through my children
• The silly things my kids do and say that only I can manage to find adorable

NOT LOVING/MISS:

• Alone time/my space
• Peace and quiet
• Reverting to immaturity when "debating" with my daughter
• The neverending questions
• Doing and saying all those things I swore I wouldn't do or say when I became a mother
• The second thing my daughter said to me after having her baby brother, " but your legs are still big". I won't even defend my swollen legs as I know other moms know what that is all about.

I have to say, I think the "loves" definitely outweigh everything else. Your turn. Link back or let me know if you post!

**Just to reitterate - I LOVE my children and wouldn't trade them for the world.

NC Museum of Art

If I needed any proof that I need to get any exercise, today I was struck across the head with a bat. The NC Museum of Art has trails of art outdoors that wind throughout the 164 acre property. They've got great sculptures and interactive displays, like the Whisper Bench, that are very interesting. Unfortunately for me, all of the trails head downhill. Which is great coming, but stinks for going. I have no idea how long the trails are through the Museum Park, but it was way too long for me. It was pretty warm today and sunny, so we didn't go through all of it (not that I'm complaining). Not too happy that I missed the Cloud Chamber for the Trees and the Sky. Maybe next time. I do have to say though, that after resting for a few hours now, I do feel refreshingly good.


Isabel contemplating the sculptures


Collapse I by Ledelle Moe


To see Jennie smile by Steven Siegel


Made of stacks of newspaper, about 23 feet tall

Curse of the Curly Hair

I've had many people tell me how jealous they are that they don't have curly hair, that they would love to have my hair. Well, having dealt with this curly hair for 30+ years, I know the effort it takes to make it look good and how after all that effort, all it takes is a slight humidity in the air to totally ruin all that hard work. The only physical trait of mine that my son managed to inherit is my curly hair, and boy do the women love it. Everyone always comments on how cute it is and how he's going to have to fight the girls off him. I know better and I have proof.

Confessions of a Slacker Mom

I am so ashamed, or at least I should be. Since working, I rarely cook and I have to say, I think my children are the worse for it. At first, we would go out to eat, then it changed to picking up McD or pizza. I've wanted to stop that habit, so I've been refusing to pick anything up, but I haven't gone to the grocery store to get dinner stuff. So, what did my kids have for dinner tonight? Cheese sandwich and carrots. Not the best, but at least I can say it was half way healthy with the addition of the carrots. Many times, I just let them snack on whatever, which usually consist of pop tarts and goldfish crackers. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out a way to get healthy, really food on the table without stressing myself out trying to get dinner done. By the time I get home with the kids, it's 5:45 and the kids are starving. My youngest goes to be around 6:00-6:15 and the oldest goes down at 7pm, so how the heck am I supposed to get anything that resembles a real meal completed in time for them to eat? I mean, I'm lucky if the kids get a bath since I prefer give them time with mommy and daddy. They say it takes to weeks to form a habit so, for the next 2 weeks, I'll cook a healthy meal every night. It has to be cheap, easy and something different for every night. Is this too lofty of a goal to set for myself? I sure hope not.

All my baby would eat. Can't blame him...

i like my body when it is with your - e.e. cummings

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh… And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

Twitter and the Lazy Blogger

I have to admit, I am one of the few people in the world not at all fascinated by Twitter. I'm also not one for texting on a cell phone and they both seem one in the same to me. I'll admit, I have a Twitter account. Curiosity got the best of me, but didn't keep me around. It just doesn't have the same power as a full post. It is incomplete, incoherent sentences full of IDK and IMHO that I just have the hardest time figuring out. It just doesn't have the beauty of actually writing out a real statement, hence why I enjoy blogging. Twitter seems to me to be another example of how we aren't taking time out for writing or truly communicating with the people in our lives. No filler words, no beauty. The thing that I'm noticing now is people updating their blogs through Twitter. Last night I was cleaning out my Favorites, Blog folder. I noticed a few of the blogs that I used to go to were full of Twitter updates and not much else. I had originally saved these blogs, not because I thought the templates were pretty or they had nice pictures, but because I liked what the person had to say and I loved the way they said it. Some people can just put words together so eloquently and now it seems that more and more of us aren't bothering. Not only that, but actually reading some of these blogs used to get my mind thinking and pulled out my creative spirit. I wonder how our kids will do in high school when they have to take an English class and actually have to write something with meaning, passion and real thought - things that can't be conveyed in a ten word tweet or in single letter abbreviations. Will this generation be able to produce great writers or thinkers?

Guilty Pleasures

I've been slack lately. Just haven't been very inspired to write or anything. Well, that may not be true. I think I have too much going through my mind right now and can't seem to concentrate it down in a coherent way. Sometimes that makes it even more difficult for me. So, I'm determined to post at least once a week this month. While sitting here trying to think of anything worth doing tonight, I started to wonder, "what is it that I do for my enjoyment?" Most of my time is spent taking care of my kids and husband and when I'm not doing that, I'm working. So, these are the few things I do for myself, as trivial as they may be, my 5 guilty pleasures.
1. Chocolate Frosties - I love going out after the kids have been put to bed and getting a chocolate frosty from Wendy's. I'm not a big chocolate fan and definitely not a big ice cream fan, but there is something about getting one of these late at night, for myself, by myself that I really enjoy. Maybe it's the sneakiness of it, since I always finish it before I come home.
2. Driving in the car - This is the one thing that I think I enjoy more than any. Being in the car, by myself, with whatever music I want to listen to playing. No screaming kids, no husband asking where we are going, just a nice relaxing drive to no where. I'll drive to areas that I've never been to before, down back roads that I am unfamiliar with, hoping to find a new cool shop to explore or a nice neighborhood with beautiful architecture.
3. Facebook - Ok, I've been a little slack on the blogging, but I am definitely addicted to Facebook. I love seeing my old friends, how they've aged (or haven't), their kids or just to see that they are having a great life and are happy.
4. Blog watching - I may not update my blog often, but I love visiting other blogs. My favorite are the craft/art ones and photography ones, maybe because those are two things I enjoy doing. Normally, I'll go to one blog and the next thing you know I'll have 10 tabs open on my window from other links off the original blog.
5. Watching girlie movies - When I say girlie, I mean like "The Joy Luck Club" and "Gone With The Wind", two of my favorite movies. What's nice is that, of course, the hubby doesn't enjoy them, so I can normally watch those peacefully by myself.

Is this bad? I see a theme here of enjoying doing things by myself. Well, it's not that I don't love my family, I think I just miss a little of that quiet time that I used to have before life happened. I guess that's why they call it guilty pleasures.

Holiday Weekend

Thank God for long holiday weekends. The last couple of weeks have been a little more stressful than usually between work and home. Work is picking up, so I've really had to be on my A game and make sure to follow up. Some days are more stressful than others and you can feel tension around the office at times, but it seems that everyone does their best to handle the stress. I knew when I took the job that coming into Summer, things would get busy, so it's not unexpected. It's a good thing - job security. On top of work picking up, the hubby has been out of town quite a bit, so I've had to manage the kids by myself. I have a new found respect for single mothers that can mange to do it without jumping off a bridge. I've just tried to keep the kids as busy as possible so that when we got home, they could go straight to bed.
Tonight we're going to go see the fireworks. In my town, they do Fourth of July celebrations on the Third so that the North Carolina Symphony can perform. Fun and festivities start at 5 and end at 9:30 with the fireworks. The weather has been pretty nice today, not too hot and low humidity, so at least we won't be sweating like pigs. I'm thinking the kids are incredibly bored, so we're getting out of here.

UPDATE: Never again will we actually park on the park grounds itself. It took us 1 hour and 45 minutes to go 1 mile. Still, it was a nice night.