35 for 35

Today is the day. 35 years have gone by and I still wonder who I am. I am very grateful for what I have. I am still healthy and happy and I have a home, a job and a family that I love. So, going back to not knowing who I am, I have created a list of who I want to be and what I want to do with my life. This is my list - 35 for 35.

1. go back to school and get a degree


2. continue expanding my art


3. be more friendly and social


4. make time for myself


5. set goals and strive for them


6. say what i mean and mean what i say


7. find my passion


8. join a social group


9. write more


10. laugh more


11. be adventurous


12. get fit and lose weight


13. take my family to Puerto Rico and introduce them to my culture


14. participate in life


15. listen to my spirit


16. find contentment with what I have


17. garden more


18. watch less TV


19. declutter my space


20. give more to my children of what they really need


21. control my temper


22. complain less


23. remember God


24. spend less


25. save more


26. be rid of debt


27. foster this partnership that is my marriage


28. leave it at the door


29. be less judgemental


30. spend time with my friends


31. give myself permission to be me


32. celebrate the holidays with my family


33. appreciate my mother


34. see my inner beauty


35. well, this one I'll keep for myself...

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want

What happened? I am suddenly becoming old. OK, I know it didn't happen overnight, but I am REALLY noticing it now. I've never had a problem with getting older. Yeah, things were sagging more and I can't suck in my gut the way I used to, but I have yet to get a gray hair and I don't have any wrinkles, at least that's what I tell myself. This year is different, though. This year I will be 35 years old - in fact, at the end of this month. That is the age that all the medical journals tell you your body is on its way down. Pregnancy becomes difficult and if you manage to get pregnant, complications abound. I have no intention of having anymore kids, but this thought bothers me, as if I am not longer a woman capable of bearing a healthy child. And, yes, I know that this doesn't happen overnight and not everyone at this age has complications, but the medical community stuck an age on it and it so happens to be 35. I now look in the mirror and see an adult. I see how stress and the reality of life has changed my face from the sweet, naive look of my teen years, to this mature, bitter woman of the world. I wouldn't say that I'm angry about it, but I'm definitely not happy about it. So, instead of partying all night (or moping) on the 28th, I'll count my blessings. I will be thankful for my and my families good health, I'll be grateful that I have a job and am not struggling in this economy and I'll remember that I have friends that love me -wrinkles and all!!