I was reading an article the other day about why men leave their wives. The main reason that was stated was because they don't feel appreciated. This got me thinking - when was the last time I really and truly made my husband aware of how loved and appreciated he was? He treats this marriage as a partnership. He helps with the cleaning, laundry, the kids - everything, without me having to ask. Since going back to work, it seems that we leave for work in the mornings, come back home around 6pm, fix dinner, put the kids to be, watch some TV, then go to bed ourselves. That's it - very little communication. We are so stressed with thinking about work, bills, the kids, that we have stopped even noticing each other. So, now I'm totally sad, knowing that I have totally withdrawn into a world of monotony, with no time for the person that is going to be there for me as I get old and feeble ( hopefully just old not feeble). If I could say that he was abusive or uncaring or lazy, maybe I could justify it, but it seems that I'm the one that has gotten lazy in our marriage. We've been together for so long and we've put the kids way ahead of each other for too long. So, I am making him number one and letting him know how much he means to me and how much I appreciate all that he does for me because it is important to him and me. And, mostly, because I love him.
I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me.
Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.