Being Mom

I've been working on spending less time on the computer and more time with my kids. I've managed to set the phone down, not even allowing myself to check an email or play a game, and I haven't been turning on the computer until after the kids are in bed. It has been really nice concentrating on just being mom - no cleaning or fussing about messes, just sitting with my kids, watching a movie or playing. It actually inspired me for my newest journal page. Sometime we parents forget that we are respondsible for how our kids turn out and we get busy with other things. Then when we end up with crazy kids, we wonder what went wrong. Yeah, some of it is just their natural personality, but a lot of it is how we raise them. That thought inspired my "tree" writing in my journal and art. I'm not much for sharing what I write (sorry, just find it a bit uncomfortable still), but I wanted to share the page as I thought it was nice. I took a paper and taped it to the outer edge of the page I was getting ready to paint on so that it was a bigger page. I glued, gessoed, painted, and wrote across the page. I like that I can fold it closed. It feels like a little surprise to open the page and see what is in it.

Doing the Right Thing

I feel like I'm finally getting back on track - the creativity is beginning to flow again, my home and life is becoming more organized and just in general, things are going right. This year has already started with me learning a few lessons:
1. Never make assumptions about who you think a person is or how they are going to react to something.
2. If your boss tells you, over the course of two year, over and over again that if you need help or feel overwhelmed to let her know and she will hire someone else to help - she's being sincere and you should take her at her word. You are not a lousy employee for asking for help
3. People have a kind heart, even the tough ones.
4. You have more friends than you think you do and you're a better mom than you think you are.
5. It's good to be open and not hold things inside, but as I say in my journal, some things are better left unsaid.

I've been wrestling with my heart and mind on #5. I won't even try to skirt around what I mean or speak in innuendos or secret codes - I just won't even get into it. Instead of burning it (as I did for new years), I wrote down everything I wanted to say and was totally and completely honest with what I wrote. Then I sealed it up and put it in my journal for what I'm sure will be a good laugh 20-30 years from now.

I Love Me

Having spent several years trying to "fit in" to the mold that others thought I should fit into, I have decided no longer. No longer will I temper my honesty or opinion just because it may offend someone (when it is not an offensive statement). No longer will I subdue my personality to fit into someone else's view of how a lady should act. I will be me, unapologetic and honestly me.

Birthday Blues

It seems like this year is going to be a tough one for me all the way around when it comes to birthdays, starting with my baby. My beautiful baby boy has turned 3. I know he is still young, but he just seems so different to me now. I look at him and he acts more grown up, he is so respectful (shockingly), even when he talks he talks like a big kids. I feel so sad, like my little boy is leaving me already. Luckily he still loves to give lots of hugs and kisses and have mommy hold him.

Happy Birthday, my crazy, beautiful baby boy.

Following the road...wherever it leads

I've kept my goals simple this year - take at least one day to be creative and go on this new journey with enthusiasm and a positive outlook.

So far, so good:

Burning the old year away

I am starting the new year off right this time. I have written down my worries and problems from 2010 and burned them away. I will be positive, surround myself with great and supportive people. I will not worry about money, my job, my family. I will take every day one day at a time and I will have faith that things will turn out as they should.