Wow, it's been awhile. I didn't realize it's been since Thanksgiving since I've bothered to update. I'm snow-bound today, therefore bored and looking for something to do. I know it's not much snow to most, but there is ice under that pretty white stuff. Where do I begin? Well, I am alive and well. In fact, I am more than well, I am the happiest that I've been in quite awhile. Something just clicked for me during the holidays. Maybe it was conversations with friends and co-workers, maybe I just needed time, but I have come to love my new status as a single woman. No, there isn't a new man in my life - no time for that. I think it is just learning to be me again and loving the person I am becoming. I have had countless people tell me that I seem so much happier now so I guess it must be true. The house is officially now all mine and I had to buy a new car. Just the thought of doing this on my own gave me heart palpitations before, but it was a breeze thanks to my wonderful loan officer/financial advisor where I bank (thank goodness for credit unions). So, with this now being "my" house, I have been working on decluttering and making it mine and my taste. I plan on repainting, already got the paint, and just changing the house to be how I've always wanted. I have to say, I can't wait until my husbands stuff is gone so I can get this done. I have moved beyond my anger toward my ex-husband. In fact, I'm so over my anger that it does not bother me to have to talk to him or see him anymore. I just feels like I'm talking to an acquaintance. It's amazing how much weight is lifted once you let things go. I do have to say that it saddens me a bit to have let go and to feel this happy. It just shouldn't be this easy, but it has been. I am loving reconnecting with friends that I didn't even know cared. It is so true - you never know who your real friends are until your time of need. Thank God for my friends. Unfortunately, I have been cured of the bite from the creativity bug. I just haven't been moved to create much of anything. I haven't even felt like writing (obviously). In fact, I can tell you that I have been writing this post since before Christmas and it is now almost February. I also have 4 post in Draft that I've never posted (guess I'll proofread them and do it some time today). It's the winter - just not my season. Plus I haven't been in a class and I think I've realized that I feed off of other people's creativity. I've joined my local gym and really want to focus on that, so it doesn't leave me much time for other things at night - I have to have some time for the kids. So, that's it, mostly. Nothing exciting or special, just life moving on. Well, there is that second speeding ticket...
I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me.
Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.