Sunday, January 31, 2010

Insanity at its Best

Two post in one day - Oh my goodness. I must be bored. Actually, I'm just feeling slightly...disappointed to put it kindly. Since I love searching for new blogs and am now a single mom, I've been reading other single mom blogs and am left feeling rotten. I must be the worst mom in the world. To read about everyone else's life, it's easy, life is good and their children are wonderful. Not for me. I hate having to raise my kids by myself, I hate not having time to do the things I want to do - there's a lot I hate about my new life. My kids aren't perfect obedient soldiers and I stink at fitting 20 hours of things I need to do within a 24 hour day. I miss my alone time, being able to go out in the evening by myself, having a clean house and getting to relax when I get home. I get mad when I get a call from the school or daycare that one of my kids is sick and I have tot ake off owrk to get them. It annoys me that I get off work at 5pm, the school and daycare are 10 miles away, no traffic and I still don't get home until 6pm. This is my life. I lose my temper, am lucky if I make it to my bed at the end of the night, and never manage to get all the laundry done.
I am a better mother now. I am learning to be patient. I am getting better at planning and prioritizing. I play with the kids more often and I don't let the little things bother me as much. So, maybe one day I'll be as good of a mom as other single moms. For now, I'm just me - an honest mom trying to raise two small kids without going insane in the process.


Anonymous said...

well, i am not single ... but i feel the same as you do ... no time for myself... can't string a single thought together ... anyway, I do understand what you are saying!

Jeanne Rhea said...

You just took me back to when I was a single mom! Things do get better and it is important to find time somewhere for yourself. I craved creating and kept a journal of ideas. My oldest son will be 34this year. I read my old journals and am amazed that some of those ideas I recorded when he was small are worth exploring now.

Hang in there. I am enjoying reading your blog.

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